Improve Your Self-Confidence With This 20-Item Checklist
Developing self-confidence starts from the day you are born and continues through adulthood.
Some of us appear to have more of it, while the reality is that most of us are dealing with self-doubt all our lives.
If you want to improve your self-confidence, here is a 20-item checklist to help you.
#1 List what you’re good at
You have things you’re good at. Maybe you’re great at planning an event, cooking a meal, or working with kids.
If you can’t think of anything, what would friends and family say you do well? Sometimes you need an outside perspective.
Ok, now write what you’re good at down on paper.
Looking at what you do well can be the visual reminder you need to build confidence.
#2 Talk to yourself nicely
Positive self-talk is essential to building confidence.
How do you talk to yourself?
Is the narrative in your head focused on all you “can” or all you “can’t” do?
What’s your personal narrative?
If you want to be more confident in your abilities, start by talking nicely to yourself every day.
#3 Assert yourself in a conversation
This may be the toughest to do especially for introverts (like myself), but it’s not impossible.
Asserting yourself in a conversation can be intimidating. But it’s essential if you want to build self-confidence.
Your voice is important.
It also shows your peers you’re someone to pay attention to, which subconsciously influences how you view yourself.
#4 Establish boundaries
Confident people know how to say “no” and what to commit themselves to.
But it doesn’t happen by accident.
It’s acquired over time with practice.
Acquiring confidence means setting boundaries and being protective of your time and your energy.
When you can stand up for yourself and what you want, you begin to feel more confident as an individual.
#5 Actively listen
Developing confidence starts with knowing when to listen more.
It’s not just hearing the other person but being intentional in taking time to really listen to what they are saying.
Often times it requires stopping what you’re doing and directing your full attention to someone else.
When you practice actively listening, you’re also gaining pieces of knowledge that over time feeds into your confidence too.
#6 Do something challenging
One of the best ways to build your self-confidence is to attempt something challenging.
Even if something you try doesn’t result in the outcome you want, the sheer act of doing something hard starts to create some confidence momentum within yourself.
It makes the possibility of doing other things achievable.
By taking on more challenging experiences, you begin to see your other dreams are possible.
#7 Accept your shortcomings
Instead of resisting what doesn’t come easy for you, embrace it.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
Love who you are. Even the sides that you think are less appealing to the world.
By accepting who you are and your beliefs, you can grow your confidence exponentially.
#8 Move your body
By getting exercise and being active, your body releases happy endorphins that help boost your confidence.
When you move your body, you fuel positive feelings.
Your self-confidence improves by taking care of yourself and physically finding ways to exert energy and gain strength.
A healthy body feeds into growing a more confident you.
#9 Be ok with making mistakes
The misconception is to ever think that all mistakes are inherently bad.
Certain mistakes can be good.
They can help you learn, grow, and make improvements.
By messing up or getting an unwanted outcome, you figure out how to persevere and work through difficult situations.
The entire experience can further strengthen the confidence you have in yourself to do hard things.
#10 Focus on what you can control — your reactions
You’ll never be able to control everything that happens in life.
It can be a bitter pill to swallow until you realize there is one thing you can control — your reactions.
You get laid off, you lose a loved one, or you’re faced with an uphill battle…you control how you react.
Confidence builds when unforeseen challenges no longer hold all the power in your life.
#11 Seek out and surround yourself with supportive people
It’s important to be your own cheerleader first, but it’s also important to find others who support you as well.
Having someone remind you of the silver linings in a situation can do a lot to boost your self-confidence.
It can be the valuable words you need to hear in a time of need.
Seek out these supportive people and embrace their encouragement.
#12 Compete with yourself, not others
Comparison is an ugly thing to spend your mental energy on. It benefits no one, and it certainly does nothing for improving your self-confidence.
Instead of focusing on the progress of others, focus on accomplishing personal milestones.
When you compete with yourself, you begin building a bank of confidence.
With every goal you reach, you allow yourself to be more fully present in your journey and become more confident in your abilities.
#13 Pray
Prayer and mindful meditation can go a long way in building your self-confidence.
Taking time to focus on prayer can provide a deeper connection to yourself, your faith, and your beliefs.
#14 Practice pausing and then responding
Building self-confidence comes with knowing when to pause before you speak.
It’s incredibly effective for making a point and asserting yourself in a conversation (as mentioned before).
When you practice pausing in a discussion, you build confidence maybe without even knowing it.
#15 Feel beautiful and your confidence grows
“The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.” — Blake Lively
Yes, it’s not a new outfit or physical accessory. One of the most beautiful things you can have is confidence.
Your self-love tells everyone else in a room the faith you have in yourself.
Growing your self-confidence is knowing you’re beautiful and allowing yourself to shine.
#16 Set reachable goals and revisit them regularly
Confident people set goals in life.
They know there are things they want to achieve, and they stay focused on doing what’s needed to reach them.
Setting a goal and celebrating small wins along the way builds confidence in yourself.
You can start by making your bed every day and work up to building your own business or whatever your big dreams are.
Setting realistic goals and making progress definitely builds confidence.
#17 Celebrate the success of others
Congratulating others on their success not only is a kind thing to do but also contributes to how you view yourself.
Not in a comparison sort of way.
But in a motivational way.
Knowing others close to you are reaching their goals can be further evidence to yourself that success is possible for you too.
This motivation can go a long way in building your confidence if you allow it.
#18 Take action and be decisive
There are moments to reflect carefully, and there are moments to take action.
When you are able to be direct and make a decision, this behavior over time makes you more confident.
Sure, decisions may not always work in your favor, but as you continue to fight indecisiveness you’ll feel more sure of yourself.
Being decisive builds self-confidence.
#19 Be optimistic
“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” — Helen Keller
When you have hope and faith, you have a feeling that naturally grows into confidence as well.
Choosing to be optimistic seeing the future full of opportunities does more to boost your confidence than staying focused on doubt.
Looking at the glass half-full rather than half-empty will not only make you a more pleasant person to be around, but you’ll find yourself growing more confident as well.
#20 Laugh often
It’s good never to take yourself or life too seriously.
Laugh a lot.
Laughing is not only the secret to managing the most stressful things in life, but it’s also a way to build your self-confidence as well.
Always inject a little laughter into your day. Embrace your flaws, laugh them off, and love yourself.
If you enjoyed this 20-item checklist to grow your self-confidence, you might want to read my other blog post — How You Can Develop a Growth Mindset in 5 Easy Steps.
Thanks for reading!